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POV: You're not making clean agreements in meetings and it is burning energy your team doesn't have.

Last week I gave you three fundamental shifts to develop the adult-to-adult culture we want in our teams. The first one was about making clean agreements. 

Lack of clean agreements is often the root cause of slow progress, duplication, deadline drift and general tension. 

Well, let's just say that filled my inbox last Thursday with '100% agree, but how?!' emails.

So this week, I'm going to teach you how to make clean agreements in each and every meeting you go to.

A clean agreement is a clear, explicit commitment that everyone understands the same way and is willing and able to keep.

It has three parts:

1. Shared, specific understanding - I everyone has the SAME specific understanding of exactly what is being agreed (including why, when, how, as appropriate).

2. Explicit commitment - each person has disclosed their honest viewpoint and then genuinely consented 'yes'. So to not do this thing is to break the agreement. 

3. Realistic capability - the commitment is realistic given time, priorities, skills and resources.

The clean part is about having each disclosed your own views, agendas and concerns. Without this, we have a partial yes, dressed up as a full yes.

I mean, I think you can already see the issue with what's happening in meetings:

“Sounds good.”

"If you could take a look, that would be great.

“Happy to help if needed.”

"Good idea, let's explore that after this meeting."

'But we always do an action list in my meetings!' I hear you say. That's great but a clean agreement is about a specific shared understanding of a decision and course of action that we are committed to and have a realistic capacity to action. Big difference.

How to make a clean agreement

Tempting as it is, a clean agreement isn’t a quick "so are we agreed on that?"

Step 1: Facilitate disclosure (i.e. surface real concerns and agendas)

An agreement is never clean if making it meant hiding concerns or motivations. Start by getting people to share their actual views and the agenda they came in with.

Simple questions to ask: “What’s important to you about this?” and “What's your biggest concern?”

This is about gathering the full picture - the one that exists, whether you choose to engage with it or not. This is the place to talk about priorities, capacity, resources - fundamental building blocks of a clean agreement that has a realistic chance of being implemented.

You might have seen my previous technique on using Agreement Levels which is a structured way to invite disclosure.

Step 2: Develop commitment through making trade offs 

Once everything’s on the table, you're looking to explore trade offs.

Clean commitment doesn’t mean everyone gets their ideal. It means the right trade offs have been made and everyone is willing to stand behind the plan. 

This can feel like compromising but that's not the same thing. You'll see that by using these two very powerful formats to flush out issues, you will improve the agreement, not just get people to meet halfway:

Yes, if... 

(This positive framing focuses on finding a solution by collaboratively defining the conditions for agreement. Frame it as "Yes, if..." to open up negotiation, and use phrases like "unless" to set boundaries, as in "Yes, I can agree to that, if we also include...")

Example: Instead of saying, “No, we can’t add that feature this quarter,” try “Yes, we can add that feature if we pause X or move Y to next quarter.”

No, unless....

(Use "no, unless" to state non-negotiables: This is a useful way to set clear boundaries while still being open to alternatives.)

Example: "I won't be able to approve this project request, unless we can find a way to reduce the budget by 10%".

Step 3: Clarity: make it explicit and specific

State the agreement in clear, testable terms.

“We’ll trial the new process with two teams for one month, then review outcomes in the October steering meeting.”

“Design will deliver two homepage options by Friday. Marketing will choose one by Monday.”

“If we don’t get approval from finance by 10 May, we’ll revert to Plan B.”

“Once the prototype passes user testing with at least 10 participants, we’ll move it to production.”

And how to do this without being 'that person'

Clean is the opposite of rigid - it expects and welcomes differences in perspective and agenda. It achieves consent through disclosure and open trade offs. It is respectful, rather than controlling so the trick is to stay curious, not forceful.

Ask questions to explore, not to corner. And rather than “You said you’d do this” with “Can we check what we each heard?”

Clean agreements work best when they’re co-created and they let people keep their autonomy while protecting the team from the frustration of slow progress.

Any help? 

With my best wishes as always 👋

Dr Carrie Goucher 
FewerFasterBolder

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References and further reading 

You can access the full FewerFasterBolder bibliography to source links to any references I use in any of my content and programmes.