Stop asking boring questions and learn how to connect people with Magical Questions

There’s a type of question that is guaranteed to deepen relationships and open up truly interesting conversations.

I don’t care if you’re running meetings, facilitating workshops or just eating dinner with another human.

You need to know about Priya Parker’s Magical Questions.

(If you don't already know her, Priya wrote The Art Of Gathering which unlocks so many insights about how we meet - both at home and at work. It's a must read.)

A Magical Question is one that allows people to share more of who they are - and, crucially, to which everyone else wants to know the answer.

Non-magical questions (muggle questions? 🤔) are like, ‘yeah yeah, get yours done and then I’ll do mine and then can we get on with this?’

You know the kind of thing.

Too boring: What’s your favourite animal? (yawn)
Too annoying: If you could be an animal, what would it be? (is this a dating app?)
Too surface level: What’s your favourite sandwich? (please no)
Too exposing: What's a secret about you no one here knows? (sorry, what..?!)

Magical Questions make people lean in so they can hear better.

They bring up genuinely interesting stories.

The spark a moment - a fast, joyous one or a quiet pin-drop one.

They involve everyone.

They give us a glimpse of someone else’s context, their worldview, their perspective.

I’m just going to share examples from Priya Parker’s post (some shared by her, some offered other commenters - thank you to you all).

Magical Questions that help people reflect on their past

What were your easiest subjects in school?

Would your childhood friends be surprised at your career? Why?

What’s one rule you had growing up that, looking back, you now think was totally unnecessary or even a little funny?’ It could be something your parents insisted on or maybe a rule at school. Feel free to share how you bent or broke it, if you did!

What was your first job? And what did you learn from it that you still take forward with you?

Magical Questions in a work related space

What seems to be occupying most of your thoughts these days [at work, on this project]?

If you could do another job in this organisation, what would it be?

Magical Questions that allow people too provide a glimpse of who they are beyond work

What award would your friends give you?

If you were a fly on the wall, what would you love to hear people saying about you?

What’s the most recent photo on your phone and what does it tell us about you?

Magical Questions that help people reflect on their life right now

Which season are you in (and why)? Spring, summer, autumn, winter? // What’s next in life?

What is one thing life is teaching you right now?

What would you be doing if you weren’t doing what you are right now for work?

What’s the title of your memoir?

What is a trait/characteristic you admire about others but don't want to have yourself?

 
Magical Questions that help people tell their story

Think about a time in your life when you had to make a decision you weren’t sure about, but in the end, it turned out to be a pivotal moment.
What was the decision, and what made it so difficult? And, if you could go back, would you still make the same choice?

What path did you almost take... but then didn't?