How I get people to prep for meetings

"Just do the frickin' prep I asked you to, OK?" and other ways to make friends in meetings

Preparing for a meeting is another ‘to do’ on people’s very long list and one they probably didn’t ask for.

Because so many people don’t do the prep, it’s become acceptable not to do it. A bad social norm that’s hard to break.

I’ve found myself conflicted about getting people to Do The Frickin’ Prep, OK?

My meeting philosophy is based on trust not rules.

On the one hand, I don’t want to be the jerk that calls people out for not doing 'what I asked'.

Equally, I see myself as the custodian of other people’s time and energy in any meetings I run and I feel I owe it to those who do spend time preparing, not to just ignore it when someone’s lack of work creates a problem for everyone else.

Five thousand meetings in, I figured out that people perceive prep in VERY different ways.

Some people really want to read, consider and create in advance to be able to share their best ‘work’ on the day.

Some people really don’t want to look at anything in advance and they do their best work on the fly. The act of talking stimulates their best thinking.

Now, rather than telling people what to prep, I use the magic phrase:

“Come ready to…”

Come ready to share your most valuable insights from your new dataset.

Come ready to give a clear view on the three options we’re considering.

Come ready to update everyone on your project’s progress, your top three learnings and a list of blockers you need help with.

Come ready to share the programme stages in enough detail that everyone is completely clear on their role in the roadmap.

Person A might prep extensively in PowerPoint and Person B might prep by jotting down some notes. But the output they are expected to deliver in the meeting is clear. It’s up to them how they get there.

There are five other techniques I used to shape each “Come ready to…” phrase and frame it in the invitation to make them even more likely to be completed. I cover these in detail in my e-course and they include making precise requests, helping people gauge the level of detail and presentation required and giving people the outcome you want them to achieve with their prep.

Hang on, what if they still don’t ‘come ready to…’? Then what?!

This is where a bit of a grace together with some natural social pressure comes in. You're looking for calibration not compliance. 

Make what's required to make good use of everyone's time crystal clear in the invite and again at the start of the meeting.

During the meeting, if someone hasn’t met it AND that has created a problem, be gracious enough to accept that this is ‘what is’ right now. 

Ask the group: What would be most helpful from Person B right now? 

And if that can’t be met in the moment, ask: “What could they do next to close that gap?”

There’s no shaming, no passive aggression, no sense of naughty-bad-for-not-doing-what-you-were-asked. Just a genuine, open conversation about “what will fix this?”

I think good odds that this person will calibrate with the group and ‘come ready to…’ next time. And if not but they fix it another way again? My view: good enough. Progress over process.