Help your team handle stuff that's out of their control

“That's straight from corporate - nothing we can do about that.”

“I can’t move forward until [this other person] gets their priorities clear.”

“It’s impossible to make progress. Our systems are terrible!”

Do you get this in team meetings and 1:1s?

A while back, a client summarised it like this:

“My team are getting stuck on stuff that’s out of their control. They feel frustrated and powerless. Now I'm frustrated! How do I help them move forward?”

I see this all the time and there are two main scenarios.

1. Something big is wrong and we feel we can’t change it. Someone else’s fault. Until it changes, we’re frustrated and STUCK.

2. Something big is wrong and we feel we should change it. But we can’t. Until it changes, we’re frustrated and STUCK.

These are two sides of the same coin. One is someone under-estimating their responsibility and the other someone over-estimating it.

Both take them OUT of their power.

The end result is negativity, powerlessness, frustration and inaction (or ineffective action).

In scenario 1, we’re shifted our power OUT of our locus of control with thinking patterns like:

- Them vs Us (THEY should do something about it and if they don’t it’s US that suffers)

- If… Then… thinking (IF they sort it out THEN I can do my work properly)

- Othering the problem (the issue is over THERE where I can’t reach it)

We’re out of our power because we’ve placed the full responsibility for something outside of ourselves and onto someone else.

In scenario 2, we’ve shifted a responsibility that’s not ours, INTO our locus of control, where it doesn’t belong.

Our locus of control is a problem solving space so it’s frustrating and even distressing when we cannot begin to solve the problems in this space.

As well as in our own lives, this dynamic crops up in 1:1s and meetings all time, particularly when people are conscientious. But it creates overwhelm and it’s unproductive. So what can we do with it?

The answers in both scenarios?

Three steps.

1. Get people back in their power

2. Help them focus on what’s in their power

3. Help them use their power

Scenario 1: under-estimating power

Help someone/a team who’s stuck because they have shifted all the power to someone else

You might hear:

- “There’s nothing we can do” “It’s out of our hands.” “It’s their fault” “It’s all because of X department/decision”

The answer:

- Focus on the freedom and resources you DO have and can use now

A concept to introduce to get people back in their power: 15% solutions

In most situations, we have access to “15% Solutions” <- doable, high leverage activities that can shift the course of something, even when we have very limited power. These are commonly unnoticed and overlooked.

- A chance conversation that tells someone in power how important something is

- A small change locally that sparks a wider change more broadly

- A complete reinvention of a small thing that opens up possibility for a bigger thing

Questions you can ask:

- Where do you have discretion and freedom to act?

- What can you do without more resources or authority?

- What is doable here? What just might make a difference?

- What’s our 15% solution? What can we do with our 15%?

These questions are inspired by the Liberating Structure 15% Solutions which I absolutely love.

Scenario 2: over-estimating power

Help someone/ a team who’s stuck because they’ve taken too much responsibility for something out of their control

You might hear:

- “I just don’t know what to do about it” “It’s really hard to make progress” “I’m overwhelmed.”

The answer:

- Separate out what is inside and outside of your/their control

- Focus on the next right step

A concept to introduce: Circles of Control, Influence and Concern

In every situation, there is a limited number of things we can control, a wider number of things we can influence but not directly control - and a whole truckload of things of concern to us!

Recognising this gives us some choices.

Firstly - can we break down something big and hairy into the things we can control vs what we can only influence (and what we can’t influence at all). Try using the circles and asking the team to use it to describe the situation/project/issue.

This can create some really nice discussion and expose some limiting beliefs across the group. Often the picture of the circles and the discussion between them is all that’s needed to lift the overwhelm.

A few more questions that can help:

- Where do you feel you’re spending your energy? How might you spend your energy differently, looking at what’s on this diagram?

- Is there anything you want to shift around? For example is there something that you’ve been keeping in your circle of direct control - but now you want to shift it to your circle of influence? (There is a nice energy shift in doing this - and it can reveal a change in strategy sometimes)

- Is there anything you want to move OUT of your circle of concern? Something that you just haven’t got the energy to worry about for now?

- Or anything you want to bring in from your circle of concern to your circle of influence - perhaps for a 15% solution?

And once you’ve encouraged your team to have explore the circles and where their power lies, you can ask so questions to get them moving forward in their power:

- What’s the next right step?

- What’s the smallest next action that will take you closer to your goal?