The six listening techniques that will transform how you lead meetings.

Truly listening is a radical act. The truth is, we spend most meetings listening to and for ourselves.

 

What are WE think about what they’ve said. Where can WE filter in with our contribution.

Our internal soundtrack drowns out the people in the room and their world.

But more than that…

Nancy Kline explains that “The quality of our attention determines the quality of other people’s thinking.”

Wow, that is a total reframe! Maximising other people’s contribution through our own listening - this is what world-class collaboration is all about.

Have a think now about your own listening style.

     Can others reveal themselves with you?

     Or are you quick to judge, solve, diffuse or show you relate to what they say?

     Does your attention create a fertile space in which other people’s contribution can flourish?

     Or does your internal soundtrack make you deaf to the room.

If you can listen brilliantly in meetings, everyone wants to work with you.

They might not have the words to describe why.

But you are that person who brings progress, quality… the joy of collaboration. You make people feel smart and important.

Listening is a huge contribution to every meeting.

Here’s how to do it.

1️⃣
Scene not soundtrack

Start with what you tune your attention to.

Relax. Turn down the volume in your own head. Relax more. Tune in. What’s the vibe? What is this person trying to tell me?

 

2️⃣
Assume the highest intention

It’s hard to remove judgement so instead, assume the highest intention of others. Whatever the range of possible intentions are that could be at play - assume it’s the best one.

 

3️⃣
Set aside urgency

“Ease creates, urgency destroys” - Nancy Kline

If this conversation feels important, can you carve out a moment of ease in a sea of urgency?

More relaxing. Sink into the seat. There is time.

 

4️⃣
Don’t fix, don’t relate

     “Yes, we had that in my old company. What happened was…”

     “Have you tried…?”

     “What worked for me was…”

So tempting. But don’t.

If you have to say SOMETHING, then observe aloud. Whatever is interesting or insightful, observe and appreciate it.

If you are 100% sure you can help - then ask what’s needed and ask for permission to suggest something.

Say:

     “Do you want to talk about solutions at this point, or just explore the problem?”

 

5️⃣
Ask open incisive questions

Questions are also a really good way to direct the attention of the group in a non-confrontational way.

Whether you are the facilitator or not you can ask great questions and play back what you’ve heard. If the meeting host isn’t clear or purposeful, you can use this as a way to help double the impact of the session.

What are the questions they need to ask of themselves? Can you help frame them up?

     What do you know and what is still unclear?

     What’s the concern?

     What are your options?

     What decisions need to be made?

 

6️⃣
Hold the space

There is a wellspring of insight present inside the group.

Your job is to shush so they have the time to find the words.

There is a torrent of resourcefulness present inside the group.

Your job is to shut up so they can tap into it.

 

Where next?

My top three picks:

- read Nancy Kline's twelve principles, or better still her book - Time To Think

- follow Ian Heaton on LinkedIn

- hire Steph Vidal-Hall as a certified Thinking Environment® Coach to facilitate your crucial sessions and off-sites.